


You Are Loved

by OneBossyPrincess



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Caretaking, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Injury, Love, Self-Esteem Issues, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-04-06 08:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19058647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneBossyPrincess/pseuds/OneBossyPrincess
Summary: Donatello is feeling left out and unworthy to stand next to his brothers . He knows Leo and Mikey are more precious to their older brother Ralph and all three of his brothers are more  loved to their father.





	You Are Loved

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Rise of the teenage mutant Ninja turtles.

Ever since Donatello was small he felt this uncanny feeling of being different than his brothers . And if feelings weren't enough he saw and even heard the private talks given to Mikey, Leo and Ralph about how they must be gentle when playing around "Donnie's shell" .

 

His "shell" wasn't like his brothers ,  when he was still quite small he found out from spilnter he was a soft shell turtle and because of that fact any wrong move from himself or from his brothers could cause damage to come to his shell . At first though they all thought splinter was overreacting . Because to them Donnie's shell looked just like theirs . Well not exactly like his brothers , he didn't have sharp spikes like Ralph's shell or the cool designs like Mikey and Leo's but his shell looked and felt hard . But splinter said "Looks can be deceiving " and explained that even though Donnie's shell looked strong and felt normal it was prone to crack or chip if too much force was applied to it . 

 

Because of this, Donnie felt waves of pity sent towards him because of his disability. It made him feel insecure and almost unwanted . As he grew he realized that it wasn't just his shell that made stick out from his brothers . He wasn't super strong and brave like Ralph . He wasn't bold or goofy and funny like his twin Leo . He wasn't even cute and likeable with awesome athletic skills like Mikey. He was shy and had a low self-esteem and not much confidence within himself. But one thing that he did find courage in doing and pursuing was science and engineering . Anything technical , anything that challenged the mind aroused a interest in him .  Donnie soon found out to his joyful glee , that his brothers could not enter this field of knowledge. This was something only he and he alone could do . This accomplishment gave him a sense of pride . A feeling he never felt before,  this feeling is one that he would hold dear to his heart. His knowledge and skills were something that made him feel special. As Donnie grew so did his experiments and knowledge. At age 7 he already made a lab for himself , a tech savy bo staff and blueprints of 3 different armor shells . At age 10 two of his armor shells we're complete , 1 being a helping hand shell with 4 sets rotbotic that would come out on his will and the other being a  hovering shell allowing him to fly . By the next year he had hit a gold mine when he found 3 old cellphones and a tablet with a old projector and screen . He easily fixed and repaired any damages to the devices . And gave the phones to his brothers who were happy to get one ever since April was given one for her 10th birthday . He had given the projector and screen to the living room so they all could watch shows . However splinter soon found out about soap operas and he mostly controlled the setup . For himself he kept the tablet for his own personal gift just like most of the computers screens, wires, speakers and keyboards he found.  You might be wondering how is this all working without WiFi but Donnie hacked in to that as well . All phones , tablets , computers were covered and connected . These accomplishments gave him pride because when he did them his family gave him praise . But once it was given it seem like that was the last time he heard any more praise or appreciation. He couldn't really remember. That was 4 years ago and he's now 14 years old . 

 

But through those years he has learned some stuff. First his brothers are stupid , second their father is now a lazy fatter rat , third was to never ever let anyone know he was using this front of pride as wall to hide his inner feelings . If he can remember these then he should be alright ...right ?

 

Well that's what he thought but it's hard when he feels unloved and left out . It's the little things that leave a big impact on him . It's these things that make him realise that there is a strong barrier between himself and his brothers . He notices that Mikey will almost always jump on leo or Ralph when he's scared or when he wants a cuddle and Leo himself can wrestle and play fight with Ralph and he too can jump on Ralph's back whenever he  wants to. The three on them are close in that regard . Mikey will sometimes come to him to chill or maybe a talk but it seems like whenever he comes to Donnie he is in his lab or working on a project so Donnie would have to multitask but he makes that effort to listen to him . With leo the two had their differences but they were still twins and have a connection even though Leo would tell him crummy jokes and get on his nerves .

But with what did he have with Ralph ? He couldn't come up with anything . He didn't play fight with him and joke and do dumb stuff with him . There no connection not even physical contact like a hug besides that rare occasional fist bump . He didn't get the little kisses that Mikey got on the head and he didn't get picked up and moved like leo did if the red slider was being stubborn. This made Donnie feel those feelings again that little heartstab that made him feel a line drawed between him and his older brother.

 

But Donnie wouldn't dare say how he feels . That was another he found wrong with himself . Feelings , he didn't know how to express himself . He didn't know how to ask for stuff and he didn't know that sometimes he wanted physical contact . He always tried to avoid contact growing up so he firgured maybe he didn't like hugs and kisses . Which  made him dismiss the little bit of jealously he felt either when his family or random strangers give and get hugs . 

 

But even though Donnie was smart and a expert at keeping his secrets to himself he could not fool his older brother with lies . 

 

 Like today , the softshell was tired he had been working all day and all last two nights with only 1 hour of sleep . But he should be okay after all he thought , " if I want to go to sleep then I'll go when I'm good and ready ." So he pushed himself through the fatigue feelings and kept working . His tasks today were to repair the front tires of the turtle tank , repaint the red design , upgrade the GPS for both shell hogs , add another socket for gas, fill the tank up with gas , add solor panels to the back part of the tank , fix his tech Bo , upgrade his computer and to debug his tablet. So far he finished half of that list and was adding solor panels to the tank . Of course though the first hour was spent making them which was not too easy but he did it. The next challenge was to install them just right and that each panel wieghed about 20 pounds or so  but that was nothing his robotic arms couldn't lift . He had finished putting on 2 and was starting on the 3rd when he felt dizzy and he started to see fuzzy black spots invading his vision. Donnie paused for a second the takes a breath. He really didn't feel too good and on a side did he have lunch today...his stomach seems to getting revenge sending him pains . Maybe I should come down for a minute just to sit he thought but him mind was getting foggy.

 

Donnie stood up and stepped back . Which wasn't the smartest thing to do considering he was on the edge of the tank and the robotic arms were clutching the heavy glass frame . Which in turn caused Donnie to tip backwards and flat on his back . Since the glass was over head at a angle Donnie fell mere seconds before the panel . The purple turtle cover his face with his arms as the glass crashed  breaking into sharp pieces on the floor at his sides . 

 

"Owww"!!! Donnie moans 

"DONNIE.... DONNIE....Where are you"?!!! Ralph called out

 

He must have heard the crash Donnie thought . He tried to get to get up but stopped . There must have been hundred of broken glass pieces so moving wasn't a good idea . Plus his body felt heavy and his head hurt too it was throbbing with pain and his left arm felt wet and a little warm . But he found that he could not move it . Which gave him a little scare .

 

"I'm..I'm ...o-over....here " Donnie said weakly

"Donnie..what happened "?!!!! Ralph gasped  

 "I'm...fine..but watch out for the broken glass" Donnie repiles

 

But Ralph is already right there beside him and picking his brother up and holding him close . The glass didn even seem to bother him.

"You're not fine , ya whole arm is bleeding " Ralph says dashing out of the room and then jumping down onto the next level and then straight into the bathroom .

When he got there he placed Donnie on the sink and quickly washed his hands and dried them then he walked over to the cabinet and took out the first aid kit and walked back over to his brother . He wiped his arm cleaned of the blood and realized the gash on the left arms wasn't too deep for stitches but needed to be wrapped up . So after wiping the wound with  anodyne and rubbing alcohol  Ralph wrapped Donnie forearm up . Then he tended to the little nicks and small cuts on his right arm and his thighs too . When Donnie was all bandage up . Ralph picked him up again and brought the turtle to the kitchen.

" I want you to eat something okay "? Ralph said

"O-okay " Donnie answered 

 

So his older brother gently set him down at thier booth table and walked over to the fridge and then the cupboard . Then his took out a plate then a knife and in a couple of minutes turned around with a loaded turkey veggie sandwich cut into triangle pieces . Just the way the young turtle liked it . He took a huge bite and chew humming a little , he was hungry and the sandwich tasted good . It had turkey, lettuce ,cherry tomatoes , cucumbers and bell peppers and some Mayo on it. While he was eating  Ralph fixed him a strawberry and banana smoothie too and gave that to him when he was done with sandwich. Next Ralph washed up everything used while Donnie sat at the booth table. With a full belly he was feeling sleepy now but he tried to stay away . Ralph moved away from the sink and saw his brother nodding off and quickly sitting back up and wiped his face . Ralph frowned at that , he couldn't understand why his little brother pushed himself so much . He walked over and slipped his hands under his brothers arms and picked him up then took a walked to his own room . Ralph knew if he brought Donnie to his room ,the softshell would just get back up from the bed and try to do some work at his desk . So bringing him to his own room to sleep would be better plus he was a little tired too , that was two birds with one stone .

Ralph walked over to his bed stopping to press the hidden button that would detach Donnie's armed shell. Then he took of his brother's gear , mask ,arm and knee pads  . He placed the shell on his dresser beside his bed along with Donnie's gear. Then gently laid down on the bed, putting Donnie down on his side and wrapped the red blankets around them both and then snuggled his brothers closed to him. Ralph then placed a soft kiss on his forehead .

"I want you to take better care of yourself , Donnie " Ralph said gently rubbing his brothers shell

"...I do take care myself" Donnie said as a matter of fact 

"No you push yourself too much " Ralph said

"I do not. I merely like get through with things when they are presented to me " Donnie explained

"Nothing wrong with that . But you push yourself when you have nothing to run on " Ralph gave his brothers another soft kiss.

" I don't want to step on on your life but I don't like to see you all tired" Ralph added 

"...fine .." Donnie muttered . He felt a little weird.

"You know you really gave me a scare " Ralph said his voice almost shaking

"...."Donnie was silent but he looked up at his brother 

"I thought.. something bad happened ...the moment I heard the crash..then the shattering sounds" Ralph explained

"....." Donnie did say anything . But his heart , it kinda hurt .

" You were laying there , all bloody ...I thought you were..." Ralph's voice cracked and he didn't finish his sentence

"Oh...but I'm gald you're okay now " Ralph said rubbing Donnie's shell

"...I'm.. sorry... " Donnie said softly "..I didn't mean to make...you.. worry" his eyes felt watery. Why was he feeling this feeling?

"It's okay " Ralph said "I just want you to take better care of yourself. I wouldn't know what to if something really bad happened " 

"..I'm.. sorry" Donnie said again ....it was guilt he was feeling. Oh he didn't like it..it kinda made him want to cry .

"..you know I love you, Donnie don't you " ? Ralph said rubbing his shell again and pulled him closer . " I don't want anything bad to happen to you so be careful okay "

"...Okay.." Donnie said looking down , he couldn't look Ralph in the eye right now . He felt too many conflicting emotions . He felt happy to know his brother did love him and then he felt the heavy guilt of thinking his brothers didn't love him he also felt bad that he scared his brother and made him worry .

"Donnie " Ralph said softly

"...yes.."

"I love you " Ralph said again and this time he moved his brothers face near his to nuzzle snouts together.

Then the tears came out and Donnie his his face back into the covers and against Ralph chest . He let out a little sob and a whimper as he cried . For Donnie the worst thing about crying was actually crying and since he kept all personal emotions looked down crying about one thing made him cry about things too. Ralph on the hand knew exactly what to do. He held the shaking turtle close and wrapped the blanket over him some more and rubbed his shell gaving it loving pats .

 

Donnie finally calm down a little after crying what seem like a hour (it was really 20 or so minutes) he sniffled and gave a little whimper. Ralph reached behind him and grabbed some tissue form the box . He used to gently wipe his brothers face and then held them to his nose

"Blow " Ralph said

"Hmnff" Donnie blew his nose

"That's better " Ralph said and rubbed his shell while he tossed the tissue into the trash can not to far away .

"R-Ralph.." Donnie started

"Yes"? Ralph asked looking down at his brother

"..um..I.I..um..love..you too" Donnie whispered into Ralph chest . He was a bit embarrassed so he was hiding a flushed face .

"What did you say Donnie " ? Ralph asked

"...I..love..you " Donnie said again a little bit loud 

"You're gonna have to speak up Donnie " Ralph said

"I said I love you " Donnie shouted a bit getting annoyed he had to repeat himself .

"And I love, love, love you too " Ralph said back softly

"Why did you make me repeat myself " Donnie said catching on to the fact his brother heard him the first two times.

" Because you never tell me enough " Ralph said 

"You're one to talk " Donnie muttered

"What do you mean "? Ralph asked

" You..you..never tell me that you love me...and I don't... get hugs or kisses...like Mikey or Leo " Donnie found himself saying

" How can I hug and kiss you when you are always looked up in your lab" Ralph asked

"And just because I hug and kiss Leo and Mikey more often than I would you that doesn't mean I love you less either " Ralph added

"But..." Then Donnie stopped. How did Ralph know that was what he was thinking ...

"But nothing , I love you just as much as a love Mikey and Leo. You are not worth less than them and they don't mean more to me than you ." Ralph explained 

"Really" ? Donnie asked

"Yes really " Ralph said " you have to let yourself get loved more okay Donnie "? 

"...I don't ..know...how" Donnie muttered quietly more to himself than to Ralph

" You have love to be loved " Ralph explained 

" I don't think I get it" Donnie said 

"LEO AND MIKEY GET IN HERE NOW" Ralph sat up and turned his mouth to yell. " You'll see in a minute " he smiled

 

In a matter of second the two brothers came running into the room. But seemed a little shakened that thier older yelled out so randomly. The two brothers had been over at April's and just got back in not to long ago . They were about to go to their arcade when Ralph called them.

"Whatever it is , it's not my fault " Leo said

"And I didn't break it "Mikey beamed proudly

"It's nothing with what you did . I called you both in here because Donnie has something to tell you " Ralph said rolling his eyes but smiled after

Both brothers then notice behind Ralph was a Donnie who seemed nervous and a little confused. Leo looked at Mikey then back at Donnie then back at Ralph . While Mikey did they same . They were both thinking the same thing . " Why was Donnie bandage up and In Ralph bed "? But that only stayed with them for a minute before the new thought was " what dose Donnie have to tell us" ?. Ralph motioned for them to come into the bed and the two did and sat right in front of Donnie . But Donnie was a little confused , what was he supposed to tell his brothers . Then he thought about what Ralph said " you have to love to be loved. Surely he didn't mean....that was to embarrassing..but it wasn't such a bad idea

"What do you have to tell us D " Mikey asked

"Wait lemme guess " Leo said " actually no tell me "

"..um..I.. I...love you..guys " Donnie said looking into their eyes then back down into his lap and twiddle his fingers.

It was silent too silent and Donnie didn't like it . His brothers really didn't like him oh he was right he wasn't wanted or need . God he knew this why did Ralph push him into-

"I LOVE YOU TOO" Mikey shouted and jumped towards Donnie pushing back into the bed .

"Did he...did he really.."? Leo asked dumbfounded and then the slider blushed a bit and leapt towards his twin ." I love you too Donnie " he said a happy smile and kissed his brother's cheek.

"Muah" Mikey kissed his other 

Donnie smiled and actually laughed causing his three brothers to laugh with him . Oh he really was wrong. His brothers really did love and want him . Smiled and hugged Leo and Mikey back . He felt peaceful and happy and a little sleep and gave a yawn .

"Settle down , Donnie needs his rest " Ralph said

"Can sleep in here too " Mikey asked

"Yea your bed is big enough " Leo said 

"Only if it's okay with Donnie " Ralph said

"I'm okay with it " Donnie said

"Yay " Mikey said and got Under the covers 

Leo did the same and snuggled beside his brother and Mikey snuggled in his other side and Ralph was behind Mikey . He reached over and rubbed his head .

"See how loved you are" Ralph whispered

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
